“When an undertaking hath been committed to many, it caused but confusion”

Sir Balthazar Gerbier

On a Saturday in July of 2012 I had just finished setting up for a reception and I took a moment to look out over the beautifully set ballroom. Everything looked great and the room layout was perfect. I couldn’t help but to feel a jolt of excitement knowing that this had all the potential to be one heck of a reception. As I anticipated the arrival of the bride, groom and guests the venue manager walked over to me with her clip board in hand. She kindly introduced herself to me and we shook hands. After our brief salutations she asked if I had a moment to compare our notes for the bride and grooms plans and agenda for the reception. Absolutely I did so we both took out our notes and started to compare our order and list of events.

The first item on my list was the arrival and announcement of the Bride and Groom. I was happy to see that the venue manager had the same on her list… Check! The second item on my list was the dinner followed by the toast and cake cutting. However, on her agenda she had the cake cutting before the dinner… ooops!

With only the second item on our agendas we already had a discrepancy and more differences followed as we continued to compare our lists of events. How could this be? I could feel the tension rise as the venue manager and I tried to come to an agreement on exactly what the bride and groom wanted.

A short time later, when the bride and groom arrived at the reception, the venue manager and I were forced to ask them about the dinner/cake order as well as a few other items on our lists that were not lining when we had compared our notes. I say forced because by not asking for clarification from the bride and groom we would have risked not following their anticipated plans and neither the venue manager nor I wanted that responsibility on our shoulders. Even now, it frustrates me to think that we had to ask for this clarification from the bride and groom the minute they arrived. b & b charleston

Here me now! I firmly believe that whether it’s me, the venue, the photographer… whoever, we should never be asking about or changing the bride and grooms agenda the night of the reception.

As dinner was being served the photographer asked me when the bouquet and garter toss would be taking place. According to my agenda the bride and groom wanted to have them later in the night after about an hour of dancing. After telling the photographer this she told me that she wanted to get all the “main” pictures done as soon as possible because her contract was for only two hours of coverage for the reception. She then asked if I would talk the bride into doing the bouquet and garter toss before I started the dancing so that she could be sure to get the pictures before her time ran out. Are you kidding? The request of the photographer couldn’t have been more opposite of the agenda the bride and groom had given me when we had met two weeks ago. What the heck is going on here?